


The Servant Queen

by rubberglue



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-02-22
Updated: 2010-09-06
Packaged: 2017-10-07 11:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubberglue/pseuds/rubberglue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at Guinevere's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic so I'm really nervous. Guinevere is my favourite character in Merlin and I just wanted to explore her character a little more.
> 
> While I'm trying to stick to cannon, I cannot guarantee that this will always be cannon-compliant.

I.

Guinevere stood in the hallway and gaped. Everything was so big, so overwhelming, so royal. She could not believe that she was here, in Camelot's castle. Instinctively, she tightened her grip on Josephine.

"Come on," Josephine tugged on her arm, "We can't afford to be late. Stop looking so shocked."

She scurried on, trying to keep up with Josephine as they flew down the corridor into the kitchens.

At 10, Tom had decided that it was time Guinevere started to work and after some discussions with various people in the town, decided to send her to the castle as a scullery maid.

"It's a good job, Gwen," Tom had told her just before Josephine came to take her away, "and it's stable. You'll be able to come home every night as well. I'll wait for you at the upper town and we can walk home together."

"I want to be blacksmith, like you Dad," she whined, clutching at Tom's shirt. But when Tom, quite seriously, asked her to do it for him, she relented and went off with Josephine. There was nothing she wouldn't do for her father.

And so she found herself standing in the middle of a busy, smoky, noisy kitchen, watching in wonder as the various servants carried out their tasks. Josephine had gone off to find Martha, whoever that was, and had instructed her to stand still. But Guinevere was a curious child and she could not help wandering around the kitchen, staring at all the things she had never seen before. There was a pig roasting over a fire, manned by a young boy. Another teenage boy was stirring a pot listlessly while an older woman was busy chopping up some vegetables. People were yelling at each other to hurry up and Guinevere could hear the clank of metal pots and the hurried footsteps of the staff. Smoke rose from the many fires, all of which had a pot on them and all tended to. Young men came in and out of the kitchen bearing firewood which they threw onto the fires. No one seemed to notice her as they pushed past her.

"Gwen! Gwen! Where is that silly girl?"

Just about to close her fingers over a plunger she found lying in the corner of the kitchen, Guinevere whirled around and found herself face to face with a frowning young lady.

"So, you're Gwen, the new scullery maid," she spat out, glaring suspiciously at Gwen, "I'm Martha and from today, you will do everything I say. Do you understand?"

II.

For a year, Guinevere worked in the kitchens, scrubbing away at the floors. Occasionally, she was allowed to scrub the pots used but most of the time, she could be found on her knees. It was hard work but she was paid fairly well, or so she thought and sometimes she was even allowed to bring home the leftovers after a feast. Most importantly, although Martha still treated her like scum, she had friends in the kitchen and she began to enjoy coming to work.

"Ooh! Look who's coming down the stairs!" Henry, one of Guinevere's best friends in the kitchen nudged her as he whispered in her ear.

Guinevere looked up and saw a young girl, all decked out in jewels and pretty clothes, making her way carefully down the stairs. Everyone stopped their work and curtsied the moment they noticed the girl. Wiping her hands on her apron, Guinevere stood up and attempted a curtsy. It wasn't very successful as she stumbled slightly. This seemed to attract the attention of the girl and she made her way towards Guinevere.

"What's your name?"

"Um … Gwen."

"I'm Morgana and my father's a knight!" the young girl said haughtily, lifting her chin.

"My father's a blacksmith," Guinevere replied with some pride.

For some reason, this made Morgana smile. Then she turned and demanded some grapes from Martha. Before Morgana left the kitchens, she sought Guinevere out and gave her a small wave.

"I think she likes you! Maybe one day, you can be her handmaiden. Wouldn't that be lovely?" asked Edith as she knelt next to Guinevere to scrub the floor.

"I think I would be very happy if I get to cut the vegetables," giggled Guinevere.

"I would rather the two of you stop your nattering and start working harder! And be handmaiden? I doubt Lady Morgana would care for someone as clumsy and useless as you." snapped Martha as she swiped Guinevere on the head.

Edith caught Guinevere's eye and shook her head.

III.

Guinevere did eventually get to cut the vegetables. More amazingly, she developed some sort of relationship with the Lady Morgana. She wouldn't call it a friendship since it really involved Morgana coming down to the kitchens every few days and regaling her with gossip and tales of what the nobles above were up to. Sometimes, she would even confide in Guinevere about the dreams she had at night and the difficulties she had sleeping. Guinevere never said anything much and did not have any exciting stories to tell either. Neither did she have solutions for Morgana's problems. Plus she figured that Morgana just wanted a listening ear and Guinevere soon realised that that was a role she was well suited for.

Edith was humming tunelessly as she washed the plates from dinner and Henry was churning butter for the next day. Guinevere was kneading some dough. All in all, it was a typical day in the kitchen but Guinevere was feeling restless. For one thing, it had been almost a week since Morgana had come down to the kitchens and this worried her. Yet there was no one she could ask about Morgana and it wasn't like she could venture upstairs to visit.

"I see Lady Morgana has lost interest in you! It was about time. I have no idea why she thought chatting with you was so interesting. Goodness knows you aren't terribly smart or witty."

Maybe Martha was right, Guinevere thought. It would hardly be surprising. Still she worried when Morgana failed to appear for the seventh night in a row.

Two days later, a huge ruckus could be heard coming from the stairs leading to the kitchen.

"You can't stop me! I want to see her!"

"Morgana! It is not becoming for you to fraternise with the servants! Especially the kitchen maids."

Eventually, Morgana's temper tantrum won out and she came tumbling down the stairs. Looking around, she spotted Guinevere and barrelled into her arms. Shocked by the physical contact, Guinevere put her arms awkwardly around Morgana and patted her back. What else was she to do, especially with the whole kitchen staring at them?

It was then she learned that Morgana's father had been killed. Morgana was babbling somewhat incoherently about how she had to be around for the funeral and how she was going to have to leave Camelot that Guinevere never did get the story of her father's death from her. She knew how devastated she would be if Tom were to die and so she let Morgana keep her up till the wee hours of the morning.

IV.

It was break time and Guinevere was out strolling in the upper town with Edith and Henry. They spent so many hours in the dark, smoky kitchen that it was always lovely to get a chance to soak in some sunshine. As they made their way across the town square, Edith suddenly started flailing her arms about and squeaking nonsensically.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" Henry frowned.

"Oh, look! It's the young prince! Isn't he just gorgeous?" Edith clapped her hands as she moved towards the middle of the town square.

Edith was always going on about how handsome the young prince Arthur was ever since she bumped into him in the town square a few months ago. If she wasn't mooning over his golden hair, it was his pretty eyes or his gorgeous mouth. Guinevere had never seen the crown prince before but she had heard enough about him from Morgana to know that he was annoying and rude. She never told Edith that though. It seemed cruel to break her little fantasy.

Still, Guinevere was curious and she peered into the direction Edith was looking at to see if she could catch sight of the prince.

"Guinevere? The King wants to see you."

This pronouncement stopped Edith's flailing and the three young servants stared in shock at the man standing in front of them.

"Who are you? Why would the King want to see Guinevere?" Henry demanded, shoving Guinevere behind him. As touched as Guinevere was for his protectiveness, she could not help but giggle since she was a little taller and bigger than Henry.

"I'm one of the servants in the castle. I've been asked by the King to bring you to him. Martha said you would be here."

Edith just stood there, mouth agape as she stared at the servant and Henry looked like he was itching for a fight. Not liking scenes, Guinevere immediately agreed to go with the servant, something Henry made quite clear he thought was a bad idea.

"Don't mind Henry. He's very distrustful, especially of those who work outside the kitchens."

Apparently, the servant wasn't very keen on conversation. As they approached the main hall, Guinevere hands became sticky with sweat and her heart started beating harder and harder. She hoped desperately that Morgana would be there so she could have someone familiar to look at. It might calm the thoughts swirling through her confused mind at least.

If someone had told her that one day, King Uther would appoint her to be Lady Morgana's lady-in-waiting, she would have laughed. Ladies-in-waiting were traditionally from the lesser noble houses and were definitely not picked from the kitchens. This was the first time, but not the last, she would witness the stubbornness and persuasiveness of Lady Morgana.

V.

"You know, Joseph has been asking about you."

"I don't know what you are talking about Dad," muttered Guinevere. Hopefully, by staring at her plate, her father would not notice her blush.

Joseph was the son of the local baker and they had struck up a friendship when Guinevere started patronising his store to get fresh bread for Morgana. He wasn't particularly good-looking but he was friendly, charming and polite. More importantly, he seemed to like Guinevere and she enjoyed his company.

"Well, you're at the age where you ought to be considering getting married. Have a family, children and all that." smiled Tom indulgently as he chewed on the bread Joseph had brought over that afternoon.

"Dad! I'm barely 18!"

But she knew he was right. Her mother had married at 18 and by 19, she had given birth to Guinevere. Edith was being courted by one of the servants in the kitchen and Henry was already planning to get married to a young girl his mother introduced to him. On the rare occasions that they managed to meet up, Edith was bubbling over with descriptions of how falling in love felt like. Henry was a lot quieter but he would nod and agree with Edith's fanciful ideas.

"You'll know what I mean one day Gwen. You'll find someone who makes your heart beat a little harder, someone who with one look will make your legs tremble and with one touch make you want so much more!"

Guinevere was a little sceptical about the whole thing. Her father never said anything about hearts beating and legs trembling. In fact, he often told her that it was important she marry someone who had a good job and treated her well. There wasn't much point in having a beating heart or trembly legs if the man could not support her and their children or if the man was nasty.

"Oh I don't know. I just want someone who is good and kind."

"Then you'll miss out on so much Gwen! So much!" Edith gave Guinevere a little shake, "You're so pretty, you're sure to have your pick of good and kind men so choose the one that makes you feel special."

Pretty. It wasn't the first time Edith had called her pretty but it was difficult to think that of herself. She wasn't ugly but she didn't think she was pretty either. With her flaming red hair, large green eyes and full lips, Edith was ten times prettier than her and she wouldn't think about how she compared to Lady Morgana.

VI.

Being Morgana's lady-in-waiting was a fairly comfortable job, better than working in the kitchens, but it wasn't easy. Morgana often had problems sleeping through the night and was plagued by nightmares. Although she was allowed to go home at night, she usually felt a responsibility to be there for Morgana. It could not be easy to wake up from a nightmare and to have no one around. Yet, she also wanted to spend time with her father so she tried to divide her time equally between Morgana and Tom.

She was dusting off the bed linens when she noticed a little commotion in the town square. Curious, she watched as a young, dark-haired man squared off against Prince Arthur. Not a wise move, she thought. The prince was not going to think twice about putting him in the dungeons.

As predicted, she found the young man in the stocks the very next day. After some hesitation, she decided to introduce herself to him. Suffice to say, it didn't go as smoothly as she had hoped but for the very first time, she had met someone who made her heart beat that little bit faster. Perhaps Edith was right after all.

It was with some excitement that she learnt that Merlin was to become Arthur's new servant. She felt a little sorry for him since she knew the prince was quite a pain to work for but at least this meant she would be able to see him more often. And the very least she could do was help him learn to dress the prince up for battle.

"You're very capable. I think Lady Morgana is very lucky to have you as her lady-in-waiting."

Merlin and her strolled along the stream on the outskirts of Camelot. He needed to pick some ingredients for Gauis and she wanted to get some flowers to cheer Morgana up.

"I'm the lucky one. By right, I should still be stuck in the kitchens like Edith or Henry. But I get to pick flowers as part of my duties which, I assure you, is a lot better than churning butter."

"Ah yes. You are lucky. Lucky you don't have to work for that prat Arthur. I'm sure Lady Morgana treats you a million times better!"

Guinevere laughed and bent to pick some flowers. Merlin, she thought, would be a lovely husband.


	2. Chapter 2

VII.

Guinevere never really knew her mother. She had vague memories of the smell of lavender and warm laughter but nothing more substantial. Tom was the one who taught her to walk, who taught her how to cook and who taught her how to hold a sword. He was the one who cuddled her when she fell, who sang her to sleep and who smacked her hand when she tried to steal some bread from the baker.

When Guinevere realised how close to death her father was, she went crying to Gauis begging him to save her father. Darkness swirled around her when Gauis seriously told her there was nothing he could do. Trying to contain her grief, she dashed back home to spend his last moments together. Did her father really have to die like this? She always thought he would go peacefully because of old age not ravaged by some unknown disease. As she knelt next to his bed, she clung on to his hand, willing him to live. Wanting to be there when he went, Guinevere fought desperately against sleep but it claimed her anyway.

To her utter amazement, her father was perfectly healthy the next morning. There was no sign that he had ever been sick, much less with some unknown ghastly illness. Guinevere felt like singing and dancing and suddenly the world was a much brighter place.

Except that it didn't last.

The prince was hauling her through the castle with accusations that she was a witch. Despite Morgana's and Arthur's protests, she was due to be executed.

Alone in the cold dungeon, she contemplated her life. 20 years and what had she done? Nothing. She had achieved nothing, made a difference to no one's life. Who would remember her after her death? Was she worth anything to anyone aside from her father? Outside, she could hear the knights chatting. They had done something with their life - protecting Camelot was worth something. Burrowing herself into a corner of the dungeon, she felt small and alone.

Merlin saved her life and for that she would forever be indebted to him.

VIII.

"Gwen! Gwen!" Turning, Guinevere saw Edith running towards her smiling broadly, "Tristan asked me to marry him!"

"Oh! That's … uh … wonderful!"

"It is isn't it? Oh Gwen! I will miss you. We're moving to his farm. We'll come visit sometimes!"

Her heart clenched and she plastered a smile on her face and wished her friend luck. Henry had already moved away from the main town with his wife and now, with Edith gone, Guinevere wondered if she would ever find such good friends again.

It turned out that she would get the chance to repay Merlin a lot sooner than she expected.

Taking a deep breath, she walked cautiously into the dungeons that she had once been imprisoned in. Smelling the dank air, the despair and hopelessness she felt then blanketed her. She would never forget that day.

This time, however, it was Prince Arthur who was behind bars. She had been simultaneously impressed and hopeful when she heard that the prince had gone off to save Merlin's life. In all honesty, she never thought he would be capable of such self-sacrifice. Apparently, he could think of someone other than himself.

Now it was her turn. Slipping into the cage, she offered the food to Prince Arthur. And to her rising anger, he was his usual arrogant self again, rejecting the food and demanding she brought something more palatable. Annoyed, she almost didn't notice the small yellow flower in between the bread. Unable to help herself, she smiled and rushed out of the dungeon.

It was quite disappointing when kissing Merlin, she realised her legs weren't trembling nor was her heart beating any faster.

Her disappointment with Merlin didn't last. A new man came to town and for once, she knew exactly what Edith was talking about. Lancelot made her feel special and his words caressed her like honey. She even started to dream about what it would be like to be with someone as noble and courageous as him.

Like most people in her life, however, he eventually left her alone in Camelot. She told herself that it didn't matter.

IX.

Guinevere was greatly amused when rumours swept round the castle of how Prince Arthur had tried to elope with Sophia. She tried to keep her amusement to herself around Morgana as Sophia seemed to be a sore topic for her. She couldn't help but think that Morgana was jealous. After all, Morgana was destined to be Arthur's queen. Sophia and her father disappeared quite suddenly one day. At least Morgana would be in a better mood now, thought Guinevere.

Ever since he risked his life to save Merlin, Guinevere had developed a more generous view of Prince Arthur. He may be arrogant and generally boorish but underneath it all, he seemed to have a good heart. Perhaps, one day, he might become a king she could respect. She could almost understand the unflinching loyalty Merlin had to him.

Although Merlin and her were destined to be nothing more than friends, she was still fond enough of him to give him her father's best sword when he asked for it. She never saw it again and she vowed never to lend Merlin anything else. Unsurprisingly, she caved the moment she heard of the troubles Merlin's village was facing. Morgana had jumped at the chance to get out of the castle and to do some good and there was no way she would let Morgana go alone or abandon Merlin in his time of need.

The whole incident only served to confuse her greatly about how she felt about the prince. On one hand, he had turned up in the middle of the night to help Merlin – an act she could hardly believe he was capable of. Yet he treated the food Hunith had prepared from him with disdain, not seeing how wasteful he was being. In fact the more she thought about it, the more it ate at her until she confronted him. Almost certain she was going to be chastised for speaking so freely in front of the prince, she was surprised to see his vulnerability instead.

It was her turn to feel vulnerable when the prince shook her hand later. She could not understand why her legs were trembling or why her heart was pounding in her chest after that. Later, she would attribute it to the thrill of battle.

X.

After her father's close brush with death, Guinevere tried to spend more time with him. It wasn't easy, not with Morgana's increasing night terrors. Things got even worse when a sudden famine and drought swept Camelot. Just as suddenly, the famine and drought disappeared. It must have been magic but she kept it to herself.

Her father expressed his concern that Guinevere was working too hard in the castle, a notion she laughed off although her back aches and exhaustion said otherwise. Morgana needed her and it was nice to be needed. Edith and Henry hardly ever came to the main town anymore and she never heard from Lancelot again. All their leaving had hurt and left her feeling lonely and sad. She quickly came to the conclusion that she wouldn't hurt so much if she didn't depend on others for anything. Morgana and her father needed her and she would learn to be happy with that.

"You know, Joseph's wife has given birth to their first child. She's a darling."

"Oh dad!" Guinevere stood from the table, knowing where the conversation was going. She had been hearing it for the past few weeks.

"You are not getting any younger Guinevere. You don't want to grow old and be alone."

"I can't get married and leave you dad! Who's going to cook for you?"

Tom sighed deeply and walked over to Guinevere, grasping her shoulders, "Oh my darling Gwen. I wish I could give you a better life. One in which you don't have to work so hard!"

Guinevere shook her head and smiled fondly at her father, "Dad, I have a wonderful life. There's nothing I want to change about it." She gave her father's hands an affectionate squeeze and turned to do the dishes.

To her horror, Guinevere discovered her father hadn't actually believed her and had gotten himself mixed up in magic in order to give her a better life. This time, instead of her being thrown into the cells, her father was hauled down ungraciously.

And then her world came crashing down.

She could not understand how it happened. He was supposed to go to trial and she had hoped fervently that he would be proven innocent. But now, it didn't matter because he had died trying to escape. Why did he decide to escape? How did he even manage to get out of his cell? The questions, the guilt, the overwhelming sense of loss swamped her and she found herself unable to do anything except lie on Tom's bed and cry. Soon, she couldn't even cry anymore and she sat for hours staring blankly at the walls of her house. She wished she could be as angry as Morgana was but she's empty inside.

Things get even worse and Guinevere found herself not just mourning her dad but also fearing for her life. Thankfully Morgana was there to help her. She did not know what she would do without Morgana.

When Merlin asked her if she wanted Uther dead, she had half a mind to say yes. But she didn't because she realised it wasn't going to bring her father back and she would never, ever stoop to Uther's level. Uther may be her king but that didn't mean she had to like him.

The one person who truly surprised her during this whole fiasco was the prince again and Guinevere started to worry that she might be starting to like him, as a leader of course, a little too much. Part of her wanted him to go back to being the snobbish, selfish prat she knew him to be. Maybe then her heart wouldn't jump whenever he appeared.

XI.

Something was different between her and the prince but she didn't know what. Prince Arthur had been badly wounded in some altercation with a magical beast and she had volunteered to help Gauis tend to him. Why she decided to talk to the unconscious prince, she had no idea but she regretted it the moment he awoke and started pestering her about her words. And no, she didn't smile nor did her heart jump when the prince gently teased her.

Guinevere stared out at Camelot from the castle, watching the sun sink into the horizon. Morgana wanted some time alone so for a brief moment, she was free. It was amazing how much could happen in a year. The losses she sustained, of her father, of her friends, of Lancelot, still pulled at her heart. And it was times like this that she felt all alone in the world.

Perhaps her father knew best. She should have married Joseph when she had the chance. Then she would have a family and she wouldn't be wrapped in this cloak of loneliness.

"Gwen? There you are!" Merlin scampered to her side, "Want to take a walk down the stream? Arthur's being annoying again so I'm going to disappear for a while. Let him polish his own disgustingly muddy boots!"

Guinevere laughed, "you do know the boots are still going to be unpolished when you get back right? And Arthur is just going to give you more work to do!"

"You know what? We should swap masters – you can have Arthur and I'll pick flowers for Morgana!"

Swiping at Merlin, Guinevere huffed indignantly, "I'll have you know I do a lot more than pick flowers!"

Merlin grinned cheekily at Guinevere and took her hand, "Come on, a walk will be nice."

"Yeah, it would. You're a good friend Merlin."

"I know."


End file.
